On Love and Living

I had embarked on my journey to rid myself of other’s intentions for me

I had to shed the weight placed on me by others

A weight I didn’t know how to prevent

The weight of being constantly misunderstood

 

The paint of another’s color on my wings

Of being taken for granted

Caged and defined

 

They had drafted me letters of goodbye

Some filled with wisdom

Of taking pictures with your heart and mind before your hands

 

Most were laced with expectation

Things to do

Things to experience

Things I was

Definitions

Things I couldn’t stand to read

I used those letters to dry my shoes after a heavy rain

Laughing at their sudden utility

 

I called no one

I sent no postcards

I cast off and into the wind

 

It was a beautiful place

Accentuated by my unfamiliarity with the language

I noticed the nuances of life so commonly overlooked

The unspoken truth in a smile

Echoing eternal joy in a moment

The outstretched hands of children wanting to be picked up

The calm tone of a voice filled with love for its own

 

I saw walls built by generations

For the sake of their generations to follow

Each stone singing from its proper place in the earth out of love

A love for its purpose and place

Cities built on hills

Cities built in the mountains

Birds perched atop buildings touched by time

 

I saw the dawn rise every morning

 

I walked through twilight

With the moon illuminating the fog around me

And heard the promise of water in the valley below

Meeting in love the earth from its fall

 

I held these moments in my heart along the way

 

I opened up to strangers

And spoke about the existence of God

About the utility of wisdom

And the beauty of a life lived deeply

 

In the night I walked

Stepping through the bramble

Down large rocks and boulders

 

In the day I walked

Glancing at the open terrain

At the birds taking to the skies

At the ocean meeting the earth

 

Along the way

I met the challenge of a great climb

The sun shone brightly overhead

The air cool

The wind blew freely

And I entered into the woods at the base of a mountain

Heeding the advice of three women, I took off my shoes

 

I ascended the path feeling everything

I lived with a heart wide open to the day

A heart that would meet the eyes of a deaf woman

A heart to be warmed by her touch

As she looked into my eyes and smiled

 

I heard the galloping horses

And took to the side of the path

To see the look on the young rider’s face

Eyes wide with disbelief that I held my shoes in my hands

Walking barefoot along the path

 

I focused my life on each footfall

I focused my mind in the moment

And shed all of that weight

I shook off the ink on my wings

Those expectations for my love

And lived with my colors exposed

 

I whispered to God as I neared the top of the mountain

And asked who I was

For so long I had been blind to my beauty

And I felt some touch course through my being

As the question flew from my lips

And heard “You are my joy” come to me in song

And I paused to wipe my eyes under a tree

 

A tree that knew best how to catch the light

Its life lived between the darkness and the light

A tree to hold me upright

As it reached up and over the road

Enveloping the path in its shade

A house for birds to share in love

Its roots plunging into the depths of the earth below

Growing up and out of the pains of its past

 

And on I went

 

Eventually the slope evened

And I paced into a small town

I saw the gardens

The life

The small church and statues

It was there that I saw the old man

 

He was bent over looking at the wall

A wall that had crumbled and needed repair

A large stone rest beside him on the rocky road

I approached him and asked if I could help

 

He replied with words I did not understand

So I pointed at the largest rock

The one I thought too heavy for him to lift alone

And gestured to lift it

 

He smiled and motioned me forward

And there atop the mountain

I helped to rebuild the wall

In that city built out of love

 

And having given my love

The way that I wished

On my terms

Freely

I departed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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